Words Left Unsaid
by FaithinBones
Summary: This is for the Bonesology fanfic challenge. Prompt: Never let the words 'I love you' remain unsaid.


(The Party in the Pants)

Bonesology fanfic challenge prompt: Never let the words 'I love you' remain unsaid.

I don't own Bones.

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Booth often thought about his mother over the years and why she had run away. He didn't blame her for running away from Edwin Booth after all his father had almost killed her the last time he had attacked her. Once she had fled and the only love he had ever felt in the house went with her, he found his life to be even worse than it was before. Tired of the beatings and losing hope that things would change, he had considered many ways of escaping himself and the most drastic way had been the time he'd considered killing himself. The only thing that had made him hesitate was his belief that God wouldn't forgive him if he dared to commit self-murder. Thankfully his grandfather had rescued him and he didn't have to make that fateful decision.

His thoughts were never why his mother ran away, they were why she hadn't take her sons with her. Booth had tried to come up with valid reasons over the years for why she had left her children behind with a violent abuser and the only thing he could think of was he had failed to be a loving son to her. He realized that he hadn't told her that he loved her often enough. Being a child he would forget to say the words, but had always thought they were assumed. Of course he loved his mother. What son doesn't love his mother? And yet, as he got older he realized that words unsaid are often words that needed to be said the most.

He thought of himself as a caring man and he tried to show kindness whenever it was needed, but he often left important words unsaid until it was too late to say them. Booth considered it a character flaw and he wasn't sure why it plagued his life so much, but it did.

Perhaps it was growing up in a house filled with hate, where showing love and kindness was considered a sign of weakness and was usually followed by a scathing retort from a brutish father followed by sharp slap or punch. Booth had vowed to never be like his father and he tried to show his son love whenever he could, but he knew that he failed when it came to the women in his life. From his mother to Rebecca to his best friend, Brennan, he had always failed to assure them that he loved him until it was too late and they were out of his life.

Alone in Afghanistan, cut off from his family, he had grown desperately lonely. Hannah had entered his life and she had brought a spark of happiness back into his life. She was fun and she was the first one to tell him that she had loved him in such a very long time. He had taken her words to heart and thought he had finally found someone that loved him for who he was. He had quickly said the words back and his loneliness had evaporated. It had almost seemed miraculous.

And yet, those words so easily said at that time and in that place had proven to be the wrong lesson learned. The lesson had been hard to accept and it had nearly destroyed him, but it was a lesson he had learned well. Telling someone that you love them proved to be easy, but he soon realized that if you don't have deep feelings to go with those words, then you might as well have left them unsaid.

It was finally when he and Brennan had become a couple that he learned that the words meant so much more when the person you tell them to embraces them and truly loves you in return. The words meant so much more to him when found himself in a relationship with someone that loved him as much as he loved them. He told Brennan that he loved her every day. He never forgot to say those words no matter how upset he was with her or she was upset with him. They never forgot to say I love you before they retired for the evening and Booth knew that that was what had been missing in his mother's life.

Marianne Booth had known very little love in the house of Edwin Booth and Seeley Booth was certain that he had Jared had added to their mother's burden. He had been thoughtless and she had left her sons behind because she had thought they didn't love her. Words unsaid had cost him his mother and he mourned that fact as an adult.

When she had actually returned back into his life, Marianne had destroyed his careful excuse for her abandonment of her sons. She had left them behind not because she couldn't handle being a mother to selfish sons and a brutal husband, but because she wanted to start a new life with a new man and new children.

The blow had been hard to take, but take he did. What else could he do? Marianne refused to take responsibility for the past and there was no else that could.

"Booth, I'm sorry you're disappointed with your mother's return." Brennan had tried to understand his anger and sadness and she had wanted to help him, but she didn't think she was of any real help to him. It was still a struggle for her when it came to her own father. Max had abandoned her and betrayed her when she was a mere child and like Booth it was hard to forgive or forget the harshness of their early lives. She had known for a long time that Booth had forgiven his mother's abandonment because he had assumed he was partially to blame for being left behind. Now that he had found out the truth it had left him feeling bitter that Marianne had acted so thoughtlessly towards her son's fate and Brennan hated that. Booth had done nothing wrong and yet he was blaming himself for the failures of his mother. "I reminded you about your Jesus and how he forgave those that did wrong. I've tried to do that with Max and sometimes I do and then I remember my years in Foster Care and I become angry again. I forgive him, but I don't forget the past. Maybe that's wrong, I'm not sure . . . I really believe that you should forgive your mother, but be wary while you do it. Give yourself permission to love her, Booth. Even though Max caused me a lot of pain, I do love him and I've told him so. It doesn't change the past or the hurt feelings and sense of betrayal and yet, it can give you a sense of closure, a sense that you have done everything to get the peace you deserve."

Her words were heart felt and Booth knew that Brennan was trying her best to help him. "Thanks Bones. Maybe you're right. Leaving some words unsaid can only hurt you in the end. I love Mom, but I'm not so sure I can completely forgive her. Still, she came back and she wants to connect to me and Jared and maybe I should let her. I've already lost my Dad and she's about the same age as he was. If I leave words unsaid sooner or later it will be too late to say them. I guess she's happy with her new life and who am I to stop that? I'll go to her wedding and I'll be happy for her even if I can't be happy for myself . . . at least not when it comes to our past. You know I try to live in the present and forget the past and this will have to be one of those times . . . You know, Bones. Neither one of us won the good parent lottery, but we have each other and we have Christine . . . I love you and those words will never be left unsaid by me."

"I love you too, Booth." Brennan smiled and gave him a gentle kiss on the lips, a promise that she too loved him deeply and would not leave words unsaid.

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Let me know what you think of my story. Thank you.


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